Monday, February 15, 2010

It's Been Such a Long Time That I've Been without You...

So here's an update on my life as well as my training. I had a few people ask me about being in the Mercedes half-marathon this year, and all I could give were vague answers; however, I have decided to give an explanation in hopes that this info could possibly help someone else who might be struggling or has struggled with these same issues. Basically I gave up on myself a few months ago. I convinced myself that I couldn't complete a half-marathon again, so why even bother trying. I quit running. I quit eating right. I just gave up. A few weeks ago, I began training for a marathon. Two weeks in, I gave up again. Today I started thinking about why I did this. Why am I sabotaging myself? The answer starts about 3 years ago.

I had just completed 2 years of school and decided I wanted to go to a new school. During this transition, my plans kind of fell apart, and I ended up staying home for a semester and going to a local school. I was very down on myself for giving up going to school in Tennessee and closed myself off from everyone. My mom was also in Iraq at the time, so I was living home by myself making it very easy to isolate myself. I cried a lot. I ended up going to a counselor and was diagnosed with mild depression and was put on anti-depressants for 6 months. This actually was one of the best things that ever happened to me. The medicine helped me see life a lot more clearly. See, I'm an irrational person and I always see how things can go wrong, which isn't bad until you see to the extreme degree how things can go wrong. I don't respond well to change, and everything was changing so suddenly. As I was thinking about this time in my life today, I realized why I gave up on running.

Back in May, I started a new job, then moved out on my own. This freedom was much different than the freedom I experienced in college. I became solely responsible for every decision I made. I no longer could rely on someone else to get me through things. Even though I know my family will always be there to help me out, they were no longer my crutch. It's a weird kind of freedom. This major change just rocked my world in a way I didn't expect, and I didn't even realize that's what was going on until this week. I didn't respond well to change. Although I do not think that I'm in the same type of depression as I was 3 years ago, I think there is still something off chemically. Actually I think it's more of a hormonal imbalance that I've always had (sorry if that's too much info). I've decided to go ahead and go to the doctor to see about some options. There is nothing wrong with me, but I could be better. I'm hoping this will help someone out there who might be struggling with the same thing. Life can be hard, and if there's a way to make it a little easier I'm all for it :)

Having said that, I ran 2 miles today and it was wonderful! I'm glad I convinced myself to get back out there.

Congrats to all my friends who ran the Mercedes races this weekend! Ya'll are awesome, and I'm truly jealous that I didn't make it up there to celebrate your finishes and run alongside you.


Saturday, January 30, 2010

1st Long Run of Marathon Training

My first long run was 4 miles. I really enjoyed my run today! It was soooo cold, though. The first mile of a cold day is always the hardest, bc you have to get your body temp up and convince yourself that you have a reason for getting out in the freezing cold and running. I reminded myself of the half-marathon I ran last year and how wonderful it felt hearing my name as I crossed the finish line then receiving my medal. I was so extremely happy that months of hard work paid off. Those moments get me through the rough days and especially the days that it's supposed to be 45 degrees outside but the wind makes it 25. All in all, today was a great running day. I also felt like I could keep running and running, but I opted to finish the 4 miles and walk a mile. Of course, I'm feeling it now, so I think I'll take a long hot bath to relax my muscles. Tomorrow is recovery run day, then week 2 starts Monday :)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

3 miles

Today was my first run of marathon training. I went to Shakespeare park and ran the trail all around the park. I learned a valuable lesson today that you should never do a serious run at Shakespeare after it has been raining and hasn't had time to dry up. I got pretty muddy. My pretty running shoes are now stained with mud :( Mud seeped into my shoes at one point and got my brand new hot pink socks muddy also. The price of running. My run was pretty good. I kept having to stop to get around the puddles and mud, because I was afraid of falling and getting completely muddy. My aches of the day: My left calf is super sore and my right big toe feels funny, but it usually feels a little strained after I run. I promise, I'll figure out a way to make these entries a little more exciting. I'm watching The Soup, which is distracting me!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Day 1

Today was the first day of marathon training. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical. Running actually starts tomorrow. I am thankful for weekly cross training sessions, since it breaks up the pain of logging miles and allows the muscles to work differently. I love ellipticals, but they can be boring. To break up the monotony, I do the interval training workout, which consists of 2 minutes at low resistance and two minutes at high resistance. I alternate going forwards and backwards every 4 minutes just to work different muscles and to break up the monotony. I also like to bust out in dance moves while doing low resistance. That took years of balance control on the elliptical to figure out by the way! Today's musical selection was Kings of Leon "Only the Night." Such a good cd. Not a running cd, but not a bad elliptical cd.

I need to start stretching. I absolutely hate stretching. I don't know why. Maybe it's just because it's boring. I don't know. I do need to start implementing this in my daily routine. I even bought some yoga blocks and stretch bands to help me out. Hopefully, I'll start using them. I know the benefits of stretching, and I know how good I feel afterwards. I just don't like doing it. Any tips??

Well that's all for now!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Proposed Running Schedule for the Week

I'm on vacation from work this week, which will make this week a good time to start my training and get over some of the pain and fatigue of starting out.

Monday: Cross train--I will be using the elliptical at my apartment's gym. I love that thing!
Tuesday: 3 mile easy run
Wednesday: 2 mile easy run
Thursday: 3 mile easy run
Friday: Rest! Best day of the week! Lol
Saturday: 4 mile long run
Sunday: 2 mile recovery run

That gives me a total of 14 miles for the week. I'll keep you posted on my runs with my times and how I felt during each one.

It's Been a While

I have decided to start training for a marathon, and I finally came across a plan to help me accomplish this task. I'm still trying to figure out a particular race to run. I'm hoping if I write about my experience, it will help keep me motivated and encouraged. I have a love hate relationship with running, and I refuse to act like I don't have difficult training days. I will write about the good and the bad and will try not to hold back. I know there are several runners out there who will appreciate the truth. I read the truth of your struggles and triumphs, and I know you expect the same of me. Monday is day 1 of training. Pretty much the next several weeks/months will consist of the following:
Mondays: Cross training
Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays: Easy runs, mixed with some tempo runs
Fridays: Rest!
Saturdays: Long runs
Sundays: Recovery runs

I have one more day of motivating myself to start!

Friday, November 6, 2009

What to do???

I'm at the point in my life where I wake up every day wondering what the heck it is that I'm doing with my life. I have a degree. I'm working on my Master's. I keep thinking that I'm not going to find a job in my field, and I'm not even sure that I want a job in this field anymore anyway. Then I just think...Wow, I've spent so much money and time working on these degrees, and I may never use them. Hmmm. It's slightly depressing, but I just don't know what I want to do. I'm working on my personal trainer certification, and I know that's something I really want to pursue. There's just that nagging voice in my head asking why I'm not using my degree. Ugh. I don't have much left to finish my Master's, so I hate quitting. At the same time, working on it has become a chore rather than something I actually want to do. So do I keep working on it or do I just give up and maybe the passion will come back later? I really just want to help people, and I don't even really care what that looks like. What I mean is that I don't care if that means giving out clothes, food, providing shelter, talking about Jesus, or any number of things. I just want to work with people and make this world a little better. I fear working in a church or parachurch will not get this accomplished even though that should be where most of the giving takes place. The church has just become such a negative place for people. I want to start a ministry that gives to people's basic needs and builds relationships in order to talk to them about Jesus. People are more likely to listen if you show actual interest in their lives and if they see that you actually live what you believe. I guess that kind of gives me a direction. It's just still so broad. Here are the things I'm passionate about: Jesus, children, helping people, exercise, food/nutrition, and education. Now I just have to figure out a job that uses these passions and my gifts and talents. Well, enough of that. I have to get some studying done.